June 9, 2023October 2, 2023 2023 Tour Divide Pre-Race intentions I’m writing this at the end of may when I’m feeling burned out on training, my job, and other areas of my life. To put it briefly, I’m exhausted in almost every possible way. I’m coming to the end of a six month period of preparing for this journey and I’m feeling nervous, scared, uncertain, and full of doubt. So here is my attempt to step away from and examine my intentions for this trip. I decided to sign up for and start training for the td because it felt right. At this point in my life, it felt like the next logical step and a worthy goal to devote my energy towards. And it has been a lot of energy. Almost 4,000 miles of energy at this point. Reason #1- The tour divide attracts me because of big, beautiful, massive scale. It traverses some of the most remote and wild parts of the American west. It immerses me in a part of the country that has captured my imagination since I was a small boy. I’m not embarrassed to make the comparison- when I’m on the bike out there in the middle of nowhere, afraid of bears, with a endless desolation echo ring in my ears all day, I’m the cowboy that I pretended to be as soon as I could walk. The American west is wild and mysterious indelible part of our country’s psyche. So part of doing this route a response to the psychic energy of that geography. It’s like an internal compass is pulling me out there. Reason #2- Unfinished business. I rode it with a friend in 2017 and made it about 1000 miles before we called it quits around Yellowstone, just prior to entering the basin. We both had symptoms of giardia, we’re throwing up, and couldn’t keep water down. We were both brand new to bikepacking back then, and hardly knew what we were doing. We laugh now about how heavy our rigid, steel frame salsa fargos were. But nonetheless, we were able to grind out 1000 miles of challenging riding. Since then, I’ve learned so much, and successfully finished a number of routes (Colorado trail, blue ridge wrangler, nc beer trail, vuelta de Vasco in Spain). It’s 6 years later, and I’ve always known that I’d go back to tackle the td again. A lot of factors have aligned in terms of changing my career and subsequent plans to travel with my partner, that make 2023 the year to go for it. It’s a goal that I want to accomplish, and now is the window to go for it. Reason #3- the mental challenge. Homesick, lonely, dizzy, confused, sleep deprived, doubting myself, endless mental loops. All of it will happen at some point. Reason #4- the physical challenge. Every muscle hurting, nagging injuries, heat, cold, mosquitos, rain, mud. Feeling like I can’t even turn the pedal over one more time. All will happen at some point. Reason #5- FUN! bikepack racing is a blast (type 2 fun). It’s an exhilarating mental state to get into where your mind locks in on a few key things: forward progress, food, water, and sleep. You become highly attuned to the needs of your body, the signals it sends uou, how much uou can push it, and what you need to do to care for it. All the excesses of modern day to day life fade away out there. You stop thinking about bills, schedules, laundry, career, future plans. It places you in the immediate present, which is a feeling that I struggle to achieve in my normal everyday life. Reason #6- I’m so so lucky and privileged to be able to do something like this. My level of financial security, my health, the support I have from family, friends, and my partner. I’m incredibly grateful for all of it. Many people can’t ride a bike at all. Many people can’t take off from work for weeks. I am eternally grateful for my position in life, and I want to honor this opportunity that I have. Reason #7- there’s something magical about bikes, and traveling over long distances on a bike. It makes me feel empowered, humbled, and alive. I don’t think I’ll ever tire of that feeling. Furthermore, pushing yourself to do longer and longer distances puts you in a mental place that’s unlike anything else. Touring is fun, and so is racing. They’re very different though. Right now I’m in quasi-racing mode, meaning I’m going for big long days in the saddle. I’ve built up the stamina to do it, so I’m goin for it. Reason #8- it’s the freakin tour divide! Epic as hell. Still the coolest, grimiest, most challenging bike race out there. I love every aspect of it and I’m humbled and grateful to actually be a part of it. Can’t wait to get out there. Tour Divide 2023 tourdivide2023triplecrown